Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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