Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Randomize
