I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
