his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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