i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
