By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
