Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
