Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
