I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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