we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
