if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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