ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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