I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
