Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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