Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
