you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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