I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize