You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
