We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
