I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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