your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
