Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
