smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
