Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
