I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize