You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
