Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Someone shit on the floor
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
