i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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