Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I just put wine in my tea
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
