some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
