At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
