if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
