Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
