It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
