bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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