whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
