I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
