Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
