we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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