I think I am morally bankrupt
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
