The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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