watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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