i was born a porn star she said
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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