You work out of a Hotel?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
