she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
