How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
