Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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