I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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