Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
