do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
