White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
