I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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