I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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