His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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