Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
