Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
