i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
nutella sex= disaster
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
