Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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